Heart Candles 1


As part of the cycle of life, people are born, they grow old and eventually die. Some of us leave the physical existence earlier than others. Along the journey, there are many lessons to be learned and countless experiences to live. These life experiences, continuously nurture the essence of our souls and fulfill the core of our spirit; we pay it forward to our children, our family, our friends and peers. 

The theory is simple, cultivating care, love and service for others will always lead to instinctively responding in service with care and love at times of pain and hurt. That’s when the essence of our core will keep us up and the love for our own family will help us walk the painful journey of losing a loved one. 

I have lost people I love. They are always present in my thoughts; but this time, the pain is unbearable and inexpressible. To lose a loved one to suicide is a painful grief, it is a different journey. For that person to be your own child is unthinkable. The child that taught me, for the first time in my life, what it is to be a mother, what was to fall in love at first glance as well as becoming my everything and my life treasure. This is the worst nightmare any parent could ever have. No parent should ever suffer the loss of a child or a loved one to suicide; and I am committed to raise awareness through my voice and raise the alert in the community. 

I was the last one to learn about the bullying of my son in school and I couldn’t save my child. He never told me about it. My kids have always received all the love, care and attention in the world. Every single day I remind my kids how much I love them, every day I remind them that “Our house is the House of Love”. To give love does not mean to allow them to do everything they want, to love is also to educate, to discipline when needed and to teach core values such as honesty, integrity and respect. 

To provide a healthy environment is not an easy task; the influence of social media, video games, apps and many virtual channels, are constantly exposing our kids to a HUGE Pandora’s box. Have you ever wondered why the kids of Steve Jobs weren’t allowed to use any phones, tablets or computers? I always told to my kids the reason behind the 2 hours limitation, even when they considered me the “Bad Mother” because the other kids would play video games for a longer time.

As per many mental health professionals, kids are to use NO MORE than 2 hours of screen time a day. Excessive exposure (the hyperstimulation from the light, the sounds and the movement) to video games, tablets, screen time is directly linked to lack of stress management skills, creating anxiety and emotional addiction to the use of screen. As a result, depression sets in when not using their screens and a  sense of desolation and frustration develops. As parents, it is necessary to control the “fun time” in the screen time of our kids. 

Bullying and Cyberbullying is a REAL PROBLEM in our community. Consequences to this heartless, and awful practice are catastrophic. To include: depression, low self-esteem, isolation, drug use, suicide, and many others. Our children, teens and youth are mainly looking for acceptance, a life meaning and peers to share experiences with.  

I am committed to helping our children, together we can make a difference; together we can create healthy outlets for our children in the virtual world. Technology will continue for years to come and we need to help our kids. 

While I’m living the most painful grieving journey, many other children are silently screaming for help. Like Sebastian, many stay silent waiting for the bullying to be over. Let’s not forget they are only children; their brains are still developing. Our children are going through their own painful journey; that addiction to the phones, tablets and media is exposing our children to the risks of cyberbullying, predators in the internet and many others.  

Let’s do something, let’s do it TOGETHER!

With Love, Carol Kohn